Friday, June 20, 2008

Makes You Think

So I was talking to a friend this week. She's not happy in her marriage. He drinks. And when he does he's not very nice. Not physically abusive but still...

Every time she is about to decide it's time to go, he'll ease up and she decides to wait and see... but she's still not happy.

Made me think of something I read YEARS ago in Reader's Digest. Couldn't tell you the author but the words stuck in my brain like they were super-glued.

"Familiar pain is somehow more comforting than pleasure you're not sure is coming."

Wow. It still strikes right at the heart of me. I truly think that reading those words changed my life. Because they made me consider why I was staying. And thinking about the possibility of pleasure gave me the courage to change things. Not that the rest of my life has been hunky dory but there sure has been pleasure that I would not have had if I had stayed. And I think my girls are better for it as well.

Leaving isn't the right answer for everyone. But it was for me and among other things, I have Reader's Digest to thank for it!

PS I love you Randy - you are definitely the biggest and best pleasure in my life <3


Momma / Cowgirl said...

Good for you. Unfortunately so many women stay because of fear.
I have been blessed beyond measure with my dear man whom I met when I was 14 and we are still together here going on 37 years.
My mother was smart and left when things turned to violence in her marriage. Good support can be key to allowing the women to know all will be ok and even better if they leave.
Thank you sharing, this is a tough subject.

Momma / Cowgirl said...

Ok, I am grammatically challenged....LOL,

debby said...

I think also that there's a certain amount of low self esteem that plays into really just don't believe that you are good enough to 'get' anything better. If he's verbally abusing her, she might not be able to see that good things are even possible for a worthless being such as herself.

Once I was talking to a bitter angry woman who was in an unhappy marriage. I felt badly for her. I saw myself in her. She was fighting so hard to make a marriage work. I did, too. The fact of it is that if I'd have known what was waiting for me, I'd have run.

BrownEyed Cowgirls said...

I think we have all felt the fear of the unknown but it is so often so much better that we end up wondering why we waited so long to make the change.